Valentine's Day kind of creeps up on you, doesn't it? Yes, we've seen you rushing around Asda, gaping in despair at the empty prosecco shelf, the depleted card racks and the debris that used to be the cut flower display. You can almost smell the panic in the air. Want to avoid that? The secret is to get organised early rather than at the last minute. Not much of a secret, really. Kind of obvious, in fact.
To be honest, we men tend to be the worst at this stuff. Why? Well, we're not usually terribly bothered if we don't get a card or gift. To be honest, if it wasn't for fear of the consequences should we forget it, your average bloke probably wouldn't bother with Valentine's at all.
Yes, I know, "not all men": some of you are just overflowing with romance. You lot can sit over there and look smug while the rest of us own up.
Time to change
We've pointed out before the lack of imagination and effort where Valentine gifts are concerned, but it's true. Our tongue-in-cheek opening paragraph pretty much listed the full range of gifts some people consider. It's stuff we buy on auto-pilot every year but there are alternatives.
This year, scare the life out of your better half by actually coming up with something unexpected. If you can impress them so much that they attribute it to a guilty conscience, then you've probably got it right. If they conclude that you've been unfaithful, throw all your clothes out of an upstairs window, change the locks and key "cheat" on the side of your car, then you'll know you've Valentined like a boss.
If that's the kind of impact you aspire to, check out our list of Valentine suggestions below. We'll start cheap and gradually work our way up to worth-bothering-with.
Big Ideas
Card, flowers, chocolates, booze
Now we're getting somewhere. Presumably you either know your partner's clothing sizes or you can find out. You should also have some idea of what colours they like, what textures, materials etc. There is a huge range of options under this heading: scarves, ties, dresses, coats, shoes, lingerie and more.
Jewellery
This is another helpfully broad category that includes watches, bracelets, necklaces, jewellery for ear and body piercings etc. It's not only the types of jewellery that offer choice but the price ranges too. In addition to traditional, wallet-straining gold, silver and platinum bling, there are countless artists producing beautiful, affordable, hand-crafted costume jewellery in every conceivable style.
Books and art
Now we're getting personal. The preceding items are nice but pretty generic. Choosing a book or a work of art implies that you've really put in the thought and effort - if you get it right. Where books are concerned, if you can find a coveted volume that has eluded your partner's efforts to track it down you're doing well. Similarly, if you can find a nicely presented, content-packed volume on your partner's favourite subject, hobby, sport etc, you will deliver something that shows you've put in the time and consideration.
Dinner for two
Or, indeed, for more than two: the specific nature of your relationships are your business. Just try to be as thoughtful with this option as with the others we've mentioned. Don't just default to the local pub, pick somewhere different that has a good reputation, or somewhere that has significance to your history together.
Lifestyle experiences
Driving experiences and track days, spa visits, parachute and bungee jumps and more. Google is your friend when it comes to browsing the variety of unusual experiences that can be given as gifts. While it can be something just for your partner, the beauty of this as a gift choice is that there is the possibility of actually doing the thing - whatever it may be - together if you want to. The gift can include your time and personal attention as well as just the experience..
Tattoos and piercings
So, it's not for everyone, but those who have gone down the body art and modification rabbit hole are often eager to add more ink or more metalwork. It can become addictive in a way that may seem inexplicable to 'normal', unadorned people. Once again, it is a very personal thing and something that can be shared and done together if all parties are up for it.
Weekend away
Self-explanatory, surely. As with the dinner option above, put in some thought and effort. Don't just pick the cheapest weekend break or a couple of nights in the local Travelodge. Again, somewhere that has played a part in your shared history can be ideal.
A new car
Another self-explanatory category and another where the range of price options is broad. If you can afford to buy your loved one a new Ferrari then you'd better stop reading this and go place your order. For those of us who inhabit the real world, the gift of a pre-loved hatchback costing a couple of grand isn't likely to be rejected by someone who currently walks two miles to work every day.
A personal number plate
Surprise! No, seriously, things really don't get much more predictable than that and if you didn't see it coming then we would be a little worried.
Anyway, we've presented the idea before - constantly - and not just because that's what we're selling. Joking aside, a personal number plate is, genuinely, the perfect Valentine's gift for the right person. It is, by definition, a very personal present. It can be a valuable asset with increasing value. For someone who really loves their car, a personal registration adds a whole extra dimension of enjoyment, and a private plate can be for life, not just for Valentine's. Cars may come and go but many people keep the same registration regardless, and that continuity can feel really important. For years to come, every time the recipient of your gift glances at their number plate, they'll think of you.
A cherished number makes a significant, inventive and very personal gift. What's the evidence? Well, thousands of people a year spend between two hundred and half a million pounds on a private number plate for themselves. That says a lot.
So what's it going to be this year? Last-minute supermarket trauma or a real gift that earns more brownie points than you could begin to imagine?
